This week, I went to see the new Apollo 18 movie. As any of you who’ve read my blog and trivia can tell, I like movies and I love science fiction. I’m giving you a spoiler alert right now, so if you’re planning on seeing Apollo 18 and don’t want me to ruin it, stop reading.
I didn’t know much about this movie before I went, so my expectations were minimal. Still, I was so disappointed. The movie had a slower pace, which I don’t mind, and the cinematography was a bit artsy, which I also don’t mind up to a point. But it quickly turned into The Blair Witch Project, and the shaky, grainy, 70’s style film effects drove me crazy after the first ten minutes.
And here’s the spoiler. The villain of the piece? The scary critter that’s supposed to make us jump? Moon rocks! Alien spiders that take the form of moon rocks and attack the astronauts. Hundreds and hundreds of killer moon rocks!
Now, I’m a creative person. I can go along with some pretty out-there ideas in fiction and have fun. But they simply did not sell me on this. For instance, why didn’t the killer moon rocks slaughter the astronauts the moment the men touched down on the moon? Why did they wait? The best I could tell, these weren’t sentient moon rocks. They didn’t have a larger plan. They just liked to rip through space suits, crawl all over humans, and jam themselves under the astronauts’ skin. They could have accomplished that in the first five minutes.
It seems to me the makers of this movie could have salvaged it. For instance, they could have had the aliens hiding in the craters, unable to face the sun, or maybe sticking to the dark side of the moon. That way, the astronauts on the surface could have had their first encounter with the critters just as they ended up on the far side and lost communication. Or they could have started the movie with the ending and then shown us how they got there. The whole hook could have been, “How did an American astronaut wind up in a Russian vessel?” Anything but what they did!
I know I’m not a movie critic, so I don’t mean to sound pretentious here. It’s just that I so want to see another Alien or Predator (by which I do not mean another sequel, by the way). Even Pandorum was better than this. One person in my party actually fell asleep during Apollo 18, and she’s a total scaredy-cat with these sorts of movies. That kind of says it all.
Oh movie moguls, send us a redeaming sci-fi movie. We beg you.