Worst Pickup Lines

We’ve all heard them. Sometimes these clunkers are spoken in real life, and other times we hear them in a movie or read them in a work of fiction. It’s not easy to try to introduce yourself to someone attractive and make a good first impression, so I’m very sympathetic. But let’s face it. There are some really bad pickup lines out there. Here are some of them I’ve heard, and I hope you’ll jump in with comments, whether the lines are from reality or fiction.

1. “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” A line from the groovy 70’s.

2. “Do you cook? Meat?” I had this one inflicted on me by a cab driver and couldn’t reach the airport fast enough.

3. “I couldn’t help but notice you look a lot like my next girlfriend.” Chip (David Wike) in the movie Hitch

4.“Wanna see my bunk bed?” Delivered by a frat boy to a friend when she was in college. She declined.

5. “I’m a recovering alcoholic.” Good for him. Can’t this grocery store line move any faster?

6. “I was wondering if you could help me? I seem to have lost my Congressional Medal of Honor.” This line was delivered by Adam (Brendan Fraser) in the movie Blast from the Past. Then again, maybe it’s a great line. 

7. “Wanna see my home-run swing?” Last words spoken before I was cracked in the head on the follow-through. Not kidding.

8. “I can’t do this without you. I’m afraid he might pull the stiff one-eye on me.” Melvin (Jack Nicholson) in the movie, As Good As It Gets.

9. “You can drive me, show me the town, yes?” Lecherous old Frenchman at an office I used to work at. Nicknamed Mr. Winky (or maybe he just had a nervous tick in his eye)

10. “You must be an alien because you just abducted my heart.” Dale Gribble in the T.V. show, King of the Hill

Ouch. Are they more painful to hear or to say?

4 responses to “Worst Pickup Lines

  1. I’m not sure which way’s more painful. My “favorite” worst line ever is “I lost my new phone number. Can I have yours?” Groan!!

  2. Did it hurt when you fell from heaver? I thought it was kinda of sweet actually, but I’m a softie 🙂

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